Jewells of Thought

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Well this is an easy question for me to answer. When I was younger as a teenager I thought a lot about the past because of my Grandpas. Thinking about the future was still on my mind though. Growing up I always wanted to meet the man of my life and start a family. That idea was never far away even if it was on the back burner to life and adapting to my current situations.

My idea of my wedding has changed greatly from a little girl to now. With several loved ones gone who were instrumental in my youth a wedding will look much different than my dreams ever portrayed especially knowing more about the groom. I remember day dreaming about meeting my in-laws, maybe I have watched too many chick flicks including ‘Father of the Bride.’ There won’t be such a meeting and sometimes I think too much about the effects. Like if God blesses us with kids how do I still incorporate the in-laws I didn’t meet into their lives! This is speculative I’m still unsure of how well a geriatric pregnancy could go. Yet it’s why I am in the best shape of my adult life right now after two surgeries.

I am still a historian as well as a woman who still desires a life with my love. The past still influences our future another example the Bible. Yet to say I think of the past more than my future or otherwise is hard to differentiate or prove.