Jewells of Thought

This morning I was awakened way too early for the morning after Grandma’s party. I had hoped to sleep in longer, Bryan wouldn’t have it though. He wanted to talk to me last night, but I was physically and emotionally exhausted. So I promised him this morning; our definition of morning was not the same. The funny thing is he is 3 hours earlier than me and he was up earlier. Anyway I was able to give him the feedback he was wanting and then it was hard to go back to bed so instead I ate breakfast. Chocolate cake.

Last night ended up being such a beautiful evening with our family. The sadness and emotional turmoil of Charlie Kirk’s death was set aside for Grandma and our loved ones who came to celebrate her 99th year with us. We have not had a big party like this since our graduation parties from High School, a long, long time ago. It takes some work, energy and love to have one of these, but it seemed like something different and a change of pace. It worked out really well considering some of the last minute twists.

Then after everyone left I began looking at the news clips Ericka Kirk made a statement. I watched this with my parents and couldn’t stop admiring this woman and crying at the same time for her and her family. Yet when the nearly 16 minute video was over you could feel her fierce love and determination would be making sure her husband’s legacy would go farther because of her ability to steer Turning Point, herself.

Knowing that Charlie had made his personal decision makes this easier that way. However, knowing those two kids won’t have as many memories of their Daddy is what makes this situation worse. Only prayer for this young family will help them to be sustained through the coming days, weeks and months to come. I have been digesting all of this over the last couple of days, but especially now that the party is over with everything seemed to really hit us this morning.

Overwhelmed seems like an understatement to say the least. I have thought quite a bit about could I do such a statement no less than 2 days after my husband was violently murdered. Bryan has said before he feels like he has known me all of his life, but he said it again. We have been in this committed relationship for nearly 4 and a half years come October.

We finish each other’s thoughts and know each other’s weaknesses and strengths and challenge each other when we need to. I have never experienced a relationship meted out like this even with our difficulties of long distance and not having met in person. I have often felt and said I can feel when we can’t communicate for half a day or more that I feel it in my bones. A wedding day has become more fleshed out for me than ever in my mind as a young girl. Overwhelmed by the love and marriage that Charlie Kirk believed more devoted couples should be preparing themselves for in order to have more fulfilling lives.

Charlie 9 years younger than us had what the two of us have been waiting to find and to see a young man like him so incredibly traditional is something beautiful to see. God willing our marriage will come sooner than we both expect.