Jewells of Thought

I fully intended on writing about my day of surgery and that may still happen later today. However my morning was abruptly altered by a phone call…

Growing up my idea of a career was being a wife and mother. The thoughts floating in my mind never had me as a career minded woman. Although I have worked vastly different jobs that have given me quite intriguing experiences have allowed me to harness differing degrees of work environments; each one has made an impact on me. The thoughts I was having were more like being a farmer’s wife and mother. Then fast forward to my first blog and I did some research on what my birth flower was and why.

The Snowdrop naturally rose over the Carnation when I did some reading on these flowers. Their ability to adapt to their situations such as cold weather. This ability has been seen as a regular recurrence in my life since I was a teenager. When my family has needed me I have mowed and worked hand in hand with my family and our farm. This ability to be flexible in mowing or working as a cashier is what I did through some difficult years and illnesses with family members. I may not have had my own personal family, but in a way I made other options possible because I was available. Family is blood and you do everything you can for them; I still remember seeing that in the actions of my grandparents when illness or accidents happened. You make a way no matter the cost, sometimes in dreams delayed or missed opportunities, but your family due to that sacrifice makes it through that difficult time together.

Today brought this all back to me once again. That phone call came as Mom and I were literally walking into Baesler’s. My phone said Uncle Tony, but I remembered Mom had forgotten her phone so I handed it to her. It wasn’t Uncle Tony though… it was the person who found his phone.

How many of you know what it’s like caring for an elderly family member? Thankfully we don’t believe we are dealing with Alzheimers, but it’s hard to know. The Neurologists tell us nothing is wrong; yet there are several things Mom and I both can name that he doesn’t remember at any given time. So even though we aren’t doctors it’s easy for us to say he does have at least dementia. Grandma Rosemary only had troubles with memory in the last few months, she was amazingly alert and mentally up to her 84 years of age in the nursing home. It was such a blessing for her and for us.

There are times like this morning though when we got the call. He didn’t have his phone and we didn’t know where he was! Moments like those are scary and emotionally exhausting to work through. We had to go home and get Mom’s phone then head to Terre Haute to get his phone, but he was nowhere to be found. We still haven’t seen him and it’s nearly twenty minutes to 3 pm. Usually he finds himself home only to realize he lost his phone, but we can’t communicate with him until he comes home.

Life could be much worse though, still. Someone even said that at a Ladies meeting at church Tuesday night. Still… not knowing and thinking of the worst scenarios is the worst thing to go through as a family member being forced to wait on someone else’s limited memory capacity to arrive back home.

Family has always come first to me because I saw it in action first. Even now I have made decisions that God has led me towards benefiting my Grandma Betty, but just as much myself. She is about to celebrate another big birthday and I have gotten to spend the past year and a half sitting next to her in her longtime pew seat at church. This has been a special time in my life that if I did have a family it may not have been allowed to happen. Even as I don’t understand my life at times the complex moments of difficulty and priceless blessings are equally immeasurable. You can’t have one without the other… that is the conundrum of life as it is.

Thank goodness my Uncle made it home once again. Each time he returns we say a silent or sometimes loud Thank You Lord, for this blessing. How many times though… have you had to simply take a breath, say a prayer of thanks and just take a few moments to mentally register that idea that your family member is okay once again. Then to say something only to have them irritated that you were worried about them as if that’s not normal for us to be worried… like I said that’s life.