Jewells of Thought

This afternoon they were all stomped into submission. Another weekend of being stomped on literally by bullies had been quite tiresome. This is what happens when you give them half an inch then they want to dictate to you the terms of your submission.

Today though, was a good day for a practice session. It was in fact my therapy session I guess is a good way to put it singing is my therapy. Also being in the church to practice itself strikes the fitting mood for time to sing to the Lord. God is after all why I can sing and have the ability to sing both solos and in choir. It’s one of the purposes I know God has given me from birth. I totally believe it was part of His plan for me to follow in my parents talents.

So why was I so frustrated and felt overrun this weekend? This was our weekend to have my niece around that is usually a good thing right? Generally speaking it is yet very odd and unusual happenings tend to misconstrue whose time it really is with her. Have you ever had an injury or been sick and knew you couldn’t handle a certain situation because of how you felt and the restrictions of the injury or being sick? Some people just flat out don’t care. Friday evening my arm hurt I could already feel it, but we, my Mom and I, still wanted to have time with our girl. Well our empathy is always used as bait.

She wanted to come over and we could sense that obviously. However, tragically we have a case of Cinderella going on. The person supposed to be watching the other teenager and three kids under 10 was somehow already sleeping. We told her it simply wouldn’t work that night if we had to have all 5. All we needed was her to come over. We even had to get Grandpa involved and that helped for a while. Guilt set in, but more than that we knew we wouldn’t get to see her the next day. I remember saying a very short time but once they actually got there then the time 9:30 was thrown out there.

We did not say anything about them being there that late. I also said I cannot pick up the toddler. She’s gotten a little used to me now and she comes right up to me. It didn’t take long to realize picking her up absolutely hurt my wrist. Even after taking medicine beforehand to try to minimize the pain. I know from prior experience I couldn’t put her on my left side it had to be on my right. This was just the beginning and not even half of the problem.

The problem is the younger boy. Lets reverse to a few years back the older boy used to be the mean one. I will never forget the headbutt he gave me. Every time I saw him afterwards it just reminded me of that long lasting headache I had from that day. Now that same boy is a few years older and is on some ADHD medicine there is a big difference in this little man. Friday evening he wanted to play a game; a board game. The first thing that came to my mind was Ropes and Ladders. When we got things out of Grandma Bishop’s house I made sure I got this board game, but our little pieces we played with were already gone. I had a trial trying to find some piece to play with for us. His little brother never listens though and as we started the game he just went crazy. I had to ban him from playing.

So me and his older brother ended up playing two games their little sister still had to intervene though. She would come up to my knees and start to up while I was finding out how far my piece could go. Still my wrist hurt, but I continued to play and pick her up. There was no use complaining at that point and the older boy got to play a couple of games because of it. Although his sister did try to eat our pieces and she got onto the table quite a few times during the game and the night.

What frustrated me was after the game my arm hurt. The teenager was in her zone on the couch while my niece was trying to be the mother hen to all 3 kids. Then the older boy for some unknown reason put a humongous amount of Dove soap on my Grandma’s really old board game. Fortunately it was the cover and not the inside of the board game but that was my last straw of the night.

Besides taking medicine to help my wrist I childproofed the fridge. It actually worked quite well. Only one problem it didn’t fix. The youngest boy could still work the ice and water spouts and he absolutely tormented Mom with that all evening.

So Sunday morning I was ready for church except I wasn’t feeling the greatest. Literally at the time I needed to be leaving for church I got a message. Where are you right now? Anytime my niece says that I try to answer her I have been on both sides where I have and I haven’t. It was just me at home and she asked if I would pick her up. I know this can be a trap, but it reveals itself if it is and I have found out I still have to investigate. As soon as I get over there she knows I don’t feel good, but she then says two more are coming over. I said okay but I still don’t feel good. Well it was a mess I couldn’t just wait in the middle of the road and there were no places to park.

In the middle of sitting in the road she then adds the toddler. Then says the kicker oh and the older boy can’t come over but the littler one can. The warning signs go off in my head. No! I cannot deal with this again. No! No boys only Kenny. So I turn around and get my car re-situated. Then I again have to re-iterate no boys. Then all of a sudden I am told I am not being fair. There I was in my car ready pretty much for church except having my Bible feeling crummy and I am being unfair. I try to give my niece every opportunity to come to her safe zone of her Grandparents house and I had hoped it would be just her, but I have given her a lot of leadway a lot of times. This time I was putting my foot down. I know those weren’t completely her words after all.

So when life has its frustrations do you have your singing or your church in order to release those frustrations. Where do you get your therapy sessions? Singing or playing piano have long been my go to therapy sessions and today I needed it in order to be the refreshed woman who can sing this specific song Sunday morning. Now I can see it clearly and be the granddaughter I need to be then for my Grandmother as I sing to her.