Jewells of Thought

As I said yesterday my foot has been giving me some fits. On the whole I have learned how to deal with my foot pain. However, I’m stumped right now. We have had some colder mornings, but they haven’t been lasting very long.

Since last Thursday night something has just felt different. I can’t put my finger on it. I have mentioned it enough and the swelling has worried Mom, but Bryan is also wanting me to see the doctor about it too.

Sunday was a special day and those beautiful shoes just seemed perfect. I should have brought a second pair to slip into and I forgot to do that. I ended up walking around barefoot in the Fellowship Hall something I would never, ever have done before. Maybe as a kid, but not as an adult. My foot was red though and I needed the shoes off. Yet it was like having a part of Aunt Carol with us that morning. I couldn’t give that thought up either being so close to that day.

One reason I am afraid to go to the doctor again is that I have been told to stop walking for exercise no less than 3 times before. I really don’t want to be told again, if I had listened I wouldn’t have gotten past some of the pain and most likely depression of being sidelined by doctors orders. I have learned the hard way they don’t always know everything and the situation can in fact change because of exercise with the right types of exercises and walking.

The words nothing else can be done have been said to me as well. Nothing that money couldn’t fix, that is, stem cells are not cheap and insurance even my good insurance won’t pay for experimental shots or surgery.

Still the words from a manager of mine haunt me. She basically said if she could survive wearing a boot and working the register I could. After I gave her the orders from my doctor, I believe, the same doctor as hers saying I could not stand on the cement floor and work. He was worried my foot could get worse or my other foot would succumb to the same injuries. I can’t stand in Walmart for more than 30 minutes without feeling pain yet I was supposed to stay and work whole days with an injured foot and not believe it wouldn’t happen to my other foot eventually or that I could injure my right foot more? Those words still haunt me every time I allow myself a short trip in and out of that store. I can’t stand to be in there any longer.

Selena loves to remind me there are scooters I can drive. I had enough of those horrible things when I worked there and I did use them right after I got the boot. I hate those things I have seen them when they don’t work and I absolutely detest them. This comes from the girl who likes to remind me that she had to feed me at one time though after a surgery; she’s always wanting to be my nurse. There could be worse things I guess. I would rather be in the wheelchair if it was easier to move around at least it wont stall in front of a bunch of people, usually. She wouldn’t be able to push it though, someone else would have to help us with it until she gets a bit older.

This appointment if it finally gets made, because he does have a waiting list of patients, I will have to ask about a steroid shot. It’s the only thing that has taken away the pain and made me feel like I had a new foot. I had the shot for my wrist before my big surgery on my arm shortening my ulna bone. It was like magic the pain in my hand, wrist and foot disappeared. It helped my foot more than my hand and wrist though the pain was gone for well over a month maybe up to two and a half months to 3 altogether. My hand and wrist didn’t have as much benefit from it though.

Goodness I have my wrist appointment in just a couple of weeks. My left wrist hasn’t been hurting as much as my foot recently. Yet my wrist still has that knob sticking out like a sore thumb. Three months has finally dwindled down only I found out the location of her office after 5 surgeries and countless office visits has now changed to 7th Street in Terre Haute. It will be weird to be in a new office all of a sudden. Plus I will be alone, which doesn’t really bother me, I may actually have my brother and my uncle who knows when it comes to that day. My parents will be taking a vacation during that week. So it will be interesting to see what will actually be happening.