Jewells of Thought

Sunday Mornings have been really good lately. I began going to Grandma’s church on Mothers Day, the 12th and have been sitting with her nearly every Sunday. There have been two days I have missed Father’s Day and when we recently went to the Zoo. My Dad and brother wouldn’t have been able to get time off so we had a certain time to do this day trip in and Sunday was the day.

This means that I have been sitting with Grandma for a little less than 4 months. Listening to God’s voice has resulted in something very special. I am getting to know my Grandparents church friends even better than I did and music is filling my soul once again. Not just any music either handpicked choral music Brenda has collected through decades. Songs I have heard Grandma and Aunt Dorothy sing in years gone past. Now I get to sing for Grandma. It’s what I have needed and God knew that.

This weekend between watching the unfortunate events in the boxing of the Paris Olympics but personally in my relationship thoughts hit me. Months ago Charlie Kirk had a comment that went everywhere. He was talking about the dichotomy of the Conservative Woman versus the Liberal one. I remember when I first saw his comment about Liberal women on birth control it really hit me hard. Not all women are on it because they want to stop a pregnancy. Sometimes there is no choice due to a condition or in order to regulate the menses process.

Something about this Olympic boxing with the women who look more masculine than feminine has really been vexing. I don’t get how these two women who were let into these Olympics after being banned from the International Boxing Association last year because of having the presence of XY chromosomes meaning they looked and had masculine characteristics. Yet they are the ones being hurt after Khelif hit that Italian woman, Cardini, harder than she had ever been hit before. What about her time, energy and soul she put into this sport for years to get to this moment? Now because a man with an advantage over her can take her medal when it’s supposed to be a woman’s only sport.

Anyhow I mentioned watching the Olympics this morning to my boyfriend. I specifically said I stayed away because of the boxing and he knew exactly what I was talking about. This isn’t the first time he has read my mind. Honestly I didn’t think he would be watching or paying any attention to them. He is my workaholic boyfriend. I wish I could understand why we are where we are? Over three years into this relationship we do have such a deeper understanding on one level and yet we have a situation that is still not resolved in order for him to get out of California.

He knows me better than I think at times, which brings me back to Charlie Kirk’s comment. He said that women on birth control think differently dare I even say crazy, because I know exactly what he was trying to say. Liberal women are unhappy because the birth control does not make you happy; it at times does make you lose your mind. I have personally felt this and it has led me to try to break up with him over unlikely scenarios. He called me out on it a couple of times and it took a few times for me to see it from his eyes to understand how crazy emotional I was acting.

Obviously I’m not a Liberal, I have always wanted children. My timing and God’s timing just hasn’t aligned; I literally only found my man 3 years ago. God literally needed us to grow in different ways to a certain time when we would meet on an online platform. I can’t argue with God’s methods we are more compatible than I could have ever imagined and yet I thought I was destined to be a farmer’s wife. It never crossed my mind that my online relationship would in fact work. I was dead set against anything online. Yet my ladies, Shaye, Kim and Amy pushed me to try if it wasn’t for our Sunday School teacher Brian and his online relationship I don’t think I would have believed this possible.

I wake up with messages from him when I really just want to feel him here with me. This morning we even got to have an exchange before I headed to church. Feeling connected to him helps me through the day and our phone calls have been just as sweet.

Today has been a very sweet day. My thoughts have been with Bryan quite a bit of the day. I am grateful to have this thoughtful loving man in my life trying hard to resolve the situation to get here hopefully before I have to have another surgery.