Jewells of Thought

Yesterday I alluded to a miracle.

I should have used the word in plural form. The first miracle of the weekend was getting a weekend with my niece in the first place. We have been pushed aside not necessarily by my niece, but by circumstances being manipulated. Thursday evening was a pretty perfect evening having her with us.

The second miracle happened Saturday. Talk about being blasted by the past. I looked at the sign-in when we arrived at the reception that afternoon and couldn’t believe what I saw on the top of the page. I didn’t fully grasp what that might have meant. After the Preacher prayed over the dinner I began looking at the faces but didn’t recognize this particular face at all.

No one stood out to me that I thought I should know. I’m still not sure when it was that I saw him. Once we went through the food line it was chaotic. We had just celebrated Mom’s birthday only a couple hours before down in Montgomery at the Gasthof an amazing Amish Buffet. So the 5 of us were still pretty full. However, we brought Lasagna we had cooked earlier that day. The girls, Selena and her cousin decided all of a sudden they wanted Lasagna. Halfway through the line they didn’t get plates or forks like Mom, Uncle Tony and I did. So Uncle Tony and Mom had to go back to get more plates. It was unusual and it was funny and sad at the same time.

Kim and Harold were right behind us wondering what was going on. So I thought I better tell them and then they got to wish Mom belated birthday greetings. It was actually just a funny moment and really showed that I am still tied to my parents church and the friends I made then sometimes I think I am. Kim and Harold are a special couple and she has felt like a soul sister many times over for me. I think they have also noticed I have been around a lot more over the past year than I had been before.

When I sat down to eat it was like it hit me again. I had had a bad migraine the night before. Then I was forced to share my bed with a couple of girls then they kicked me out of the bed. I ended up moving to the living room to see if it would help my head. I found my pill I thought I had taken the night before on the floor. That was part of why my head was hurting.

Somewhere after sitting down with the girls and eating I noticed that face. Not before my niece ate her piece of lasagna but didn’t eat the cheese on the top and promptly said I didn’t like it. Her cousin ate the whole piece. It was a little cold by the time we ate it so we can’t exactly blame her.

It took a while for me to get over the shock and amazement at seeing him, the bride’s big brother. He said it has been 15 years and I said it’s been 20 years so I don’t know whose memory is better here. All that really matters was his Mom’s face and that he was there for all the women in his family. That also includes the bride and his niece.

We had a few minutes to talk before I knew my crew needed to head out. They had just cut the cake and had cupcakes to feast on. I can’t help myself I get emotional with everything, but seeing Michael was such a soul soothing answer to prayer. It was also surreal the two of us older and more experienced than the two versions of us the last time I saw him at Walmart.

This is also where I really hate that I have no wedding ring nothing saying I’m unavailable. I introduced him to my niece and awkwardly mentioned my brother’s been married twice, but not me or James. Yeah that didn’t sound horrifyingly embarrassing. I should have mentioned Bryan in some way but he didn’t mention anything either although there was a ring on his wedding finger. I did tell Bryan about seeing Michael though, I can’t seem to keep things from him even without a ring of any sort. Emotional bonds don’t really have the same meaning as jewelry right! I still dislike not knowing what to say even to old friends when I know my relationship is unconventional for even my standards.

It may take a miracle for my relationship of my dreams to become a reality. Only God knows the bigger picture from His view. I just need to believe in His will and his Timing.