Jewells of Thought

Have you had to deal with a relative as a caretaker? Sometimes its not always easy to find the right way to remedy a some situations. Fortunately in this case God put me and my parents at the Methodist Church to make sure this family event was not forgotten.

This may even go as far back as a month ago at the very least. My Grandma is 97 years old and my last living grandparent. Both of my Grandpas died before I was ready to say goodbye to them. I didn’t get enough time with them. Nearly 14 years with Leo and 20 with Freddy, still I shouldn’t complain because my Mom never knew her Grandpas at all they died before she and her brothers were born. So this still makes me blessed beyond measure to have had two loving God-fearing Grandpas in my life.

Grandma Rosie always lived up the road from my house so she and Grandpa were literally with us every day. In her last 5 years Rosemary spent that time in Nursing Homes, still we visited with her as much as possible. Then that last year, the extra year God gave us with her we spent so much time with her knowing she was on borrowed time. Somehow I equated the time we spent mowing at Grandma Betty’s as my close time with her too though. Those 10 years were amazing having her cooking because she had to do something for her mowers. I cherished that time with her. It was a blessing for me and Mom.

However, in the last few weeks I’ve been sensing a need again. This still small voice came back while I worked at the Linton Dialysis Clinic. I thought this could maybe be a new chapter I wanted to move out of the house and be independent, but this voice kind of haunted me. I had to be up early and go to bed early, but I thought maybe, just maybe if I was living with Grandma I could keep an eye out on her. Someone who would everyday be at the house with her when I wasn’t working. It seemed ludicrous though when I tried to say it out loud. I couldn’t seem to get the idea past Mom to Dad or anyone else. Although Mom liked the idea, I was afraid of what I couldn’t do at Grandmas my Wi-Fi. Having to pay a service provider on my paycheck on top of some of the other things I was having to deal with. So with embarrassment I ignored that small voice that time.

I have been wrestling with the idea of where my Home church is now. Do I have an anchor in where I was? It seems now that I didn’t. I will miss all my family and friends, but this idea is so personal for me right now. God wants me to spend more time with Grandma and I think last Sunday showed me that for certain. One of the announcements that morning was the Tuesday Night Mother’s Day Program at 6 pm. I remember hearing that and getting excited I have spent so much time in this Methodist church since I was born it’s almost like my church in many ways.

Our family history only goes back to the beginning of this church 5 buildings ago. So I remembered that announcement and waited to hear Grandma invite her daughters and granddaughters to the Tuesday night Program. Only I never heard her say a thing. That is not like my Grandma. There was even a point before everyone had gotten there, that I was going to even mention it when Aunt Linda got there. Yet something stopped me I really thought Grandma would say something and didn’t know if it was my place to say anything. Later Mom also said she had felt the same way about wanting to say something.

We ended up leaving earlier, because I was feeling sick again not knowing about the ear infection as of yet. I had forgotten about the fact I still hadn’t heard her mention Tuesday night. My symptoms just didn’t add up to anything of substance to me, but I knew I was miserable. Before my parents left for evening Church though I even mentioned why don’t we send a message to all your sisters and then they can respond however. Then we can still ask Grandma if she wants to go. Dad said okay to my idea, but by the time they came home we all forgot about it again, I just couldn’t get comfy with my neck not feeling right.

When I got my diagnosis Monday afternoon we finally were able to have some relief that I wasn’t contagious and I had medicine to take. I thought by the program I would be on the mend I was only halfway right.

Two of my Aunts already had some plans, but two of them met us at the church at 6 pm. We picked Grandma up and she was actually all glammed up with pink on her fingernails. It just took me a while longer to actually notice her fingers. Graciously the Bishops took up a whole row as usually happens, even with just the 5 of us that night. It just felt really good to see that Grandma didn’t miss this and that Aunt Rhonda and Aunt Martha were able to join us. These are the moments I want to make happen for Grandma if it’s in my power to do so to see the pure joy on her face.

The program was fun and vibrant as I remember, these ladies know how to make a program come to life. I have watched these ladies do these programs and even been in a few of them myself in different ways. Although my voice was a little gravelly this time I was a little afraid to sing too much that night. The music was still heard and very lively. One song was to the melody of something called Reuben and Rachel. I had never heard it, but for half of us not knowing it the song still worked pretty well. Even Brenda was happy with how it flowed. Only maybe one other person remembered this tune and Grandma.

Of course, we also had to have M-O-T-H-E-R in our repertoire for the night. Then another song Brenda likes to add to the services. I’m not sure I think she called it ‘May the Lord’ this is also sung to the tune of ‘Edelweiss’. Another fond song from the youth here at this church.

Mom and I were going to take Grandma back, but Aunt Martha persuaded us to let her take her back to the residence. I admit I was getting tired and was noticing something but couldn’t quite put my finger on what I was noticing yet. It would take a little while longer for me to realize I was having an allergic reaction.

Both of my Aunts expressed their gratefulness we brought this up to them when we did. They were really happy to be there and so was Grandma. The bad part was going home; it had started raining again. At least when we picked her up it wasn’t. We stayed later than a good portion of the other ladies. We were there completely for Grandma and it was time well spent!

Does God speak to you in a still small voice and do you listen to Him?