Jewells of Thought

The past twenty-four hours have been long and emotionally exhausting. One text message from the man I love sent me into a tizzy. Not to forget that I have been writing articles about my Grandma this week because of the leading up to today. I even made Mom tear up when she read ‘A Remembrance.’

It was frustrating when I received a late night text message that didn’t sit well with me Monday night. It annoyed me so much and affected me as all of our disagreements do. All I could do was mindless work cross-stitch mostly I couldn’t even write more than the writing prompt yesterday. He knows I get emotional, but he went a little too far in that message that night and it really tore me up.

All day I let that one message hit me hard. Then it was like I second guessed us completely the whole day. I felt so numb and the man who knows me best outside of my immediate family telling me how to feel this week and that still stings for my family. We didn’t get to say our final goodbye’s when they were promised to us by the Nursing home. It’s still fresh in our memory the lies they told us and the fact Grandma died completely alone without her family beside her.

How much time does it take to get over that sting? We all still feel it even four years later!

Knowing she is with Christ and Grandpa once again is comforting, but we had one job to do while she was here. We were to care for her and see her through to the end. She didn’t have Covid she was on her death bed for a year or so we were told. We knew and the Nursing Home knew she was literally at the end when the 2020 started we knew it was just a matter of time. They could have let us visit in a couple of ways, but they were obstinate. We lost an entire last week of her life because of Covid and restrictions when she wasn’t sick she was already slowly dying.

Yes Bryan apologized for not thinking and we will be alright. We are too interconnected to lose each other from this one message although I did have to get some crying out of my system before I could listen to him once more. God has already tethered us together and sometimes it feels like Grandma Rosie had something to do with this relationship or maybe even Grandpa Freddy. I may elaborate on that later.