What an idea. There are times I don’t know how to take a break. Last year I got into this routine of writing 4 articles a day until the weekend. Yet I still kept going on the weekends. I did over the last couple of weeks come to a moment where I said I need some me time on Saturdays. So I have left my writing on Sunday nights. It’s a catch-all time for all the fun, neat and sometimes precocious weekend stories especially from Sunday mornings and afternoons.
However, during the week it’s really hard to not be thinking of that next article. Or perhaps marinating on ideas and melding them together. Something is always just on the verge of coming through, but just needs to simmer a bit before publishing the thoughts. Lately my head has had some other worries taking up space in my mind. Some applications that take a toll to finish have been worked on. Plus some family and boyfriend issues that it seems like there’s not enough of me to do everything that is needed or wanted by me specifically.
Screaming won’t exactly help, maybe a punching bag might. Since hearing of Toby Keith’s passing I got rid of some tears yesterday. Perhaps they were also partially streams of frustration tears. My boyfriend’s situation is on my shoulders in a way right now and I’m feeling a bit unqualified for the tasks. Some heads may have already butted and I don’t relish butting again. I don’t like talking about our situation because it’s not really completely mine to tell. Also though I in some ways don’t fully comprehend the other side of what he has endured through this past year. I know all too well what I went through and he knows all about that, but he has always tried to protect me from knowing all of the particulars.
My question is protecting me from what? Sometimes even now I am ready to pull the plug on this relationship. I keep wondering, why do I have to deal with this type of relationship? I have never thought of myself strong enough for an online relationship especially long-distance. Maintaining a skeptical opinion open has been difficult with a charming, debonair that happens to be somewhat on the old-fashioned side that I had always hoped and prayed I would find.
Jewells of Thought 
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