Jewells of Thought

I have long felt as if this month is the hardest month to live through. Too many hearts and couples stuff going on for my taste. Not because I don’t love love, but because of how lonely it was for all the singles including me.

Even with a boyfriend it’s still hard to not feel this way. Having him in my life for the past 3 years has given me a measure of comfort, but our physical barriers are still very much in the way like miles of distance away.

Since Grandpa Freddy passed away in 2005 I spent many Valentines Day’s with Grandma Rosie. I will never forget some of those nights also including my Uncle Tony and Mike. One included an experience less than 5 days after surgery. It was important to spend that time with her on those days and it was usually fun.

Still… the word bittersweet haunted me for not having my own Valentine besides my family. For our first online Valentines Day Bryan was in the hospital without his phone or it wasn’t on I don’t remember the specifics only that I remembered to send him a musical clip and I got nothing. I wasn’t even told he was in the hospital until a day or maybe two days later. I was not very happy, but I was also very worried about his condition.

Is it a bit ironic for the girl who has never had a real Valentine’s Day has had some amazing and quite remarkable days without one! Not to say that I don’t still want my day with my man whenever that will happen. We may have to change our Valentine’s Day to another day.

What do you do for Valentine’s Day? Do you make it a special day or is it just another day?