Jewells of Thought

Three hours difference makes having quality time to talk, hopeless, at times. There are little gifts of grace from God that Bryan and I are able to connect and converse.

We both have tendencies to start a conversation then something grabs our attention accidentally or work comes calling to us in different ways. We have lived with this for literally over 2 and a half years. We are very determined and perhaps slightly stubborn though which is why we are still together. Against the odds that are truly overwhelming but have not persevered to sever us.

There were different times when I have said we have just delved a bit deeper didn’t we. Times that it hit me how far we had come in our relationship in just a few months or even within that first 6 months. Different milestones of depth of our conversations that pierced my soul that I was in fact talking to my soulmate.

Soulmate. This word has always confounded me. I have bachelor uncles that never married at least 3. If there truly is a soulmate what happened to each of theirs. Those women did they feel the lack of having their official soulmate? How do you know if God has separated you out to simply be on God’s work without having a family? When you realize you have reached the age you should have had a family? I think of Nuns and Priests. The word soulmate seems to be subjective whether you want it, you don’t or you simply don’t pursue it for yourself.

Bryan has challenged me on a lot of issues over the last couple of issues and vice versa. I have never, ever experienced a relationship more real than this before. We encourage each other. This year specifically has been a challenge for us, work, in more ways than one has literally tied him up in LA. It feels in a way that my failures in addition to him being tied up was on purpose in a way. Maybe for us to finally get to where we were today on the same page and emotional where we needed to be individually in order to be there as a couple. Ironically our troubles have allowed us to even more open up to each other and lean on the other’s strength and determination.

We were able to spend hours once again in continuous messages while we worked on a test run for his new endeavor. We had some quality and impromptu banter I know we have so missed. At one point our timing led me up against lunch time here so he finally came back on and I was putting fries in the oven and had to watch them for about 10-15 minutes. The moment he saw the fries in my message he immediately sent me his emoji for salivating. I had to make a clarification. So then we started a whole new conversation about the fact that he shouldn’t be salivating over frozen fries when he could have my fried potatoes or my baked potato wedges. He did agree, but also said that any of my cooking would very easily be tempting.

How does a lady react to this?

“Cause tasting any delicacy made by you would be tasting heaven”

The quantity doesn’t happen as much as we would like, but today we had an amazing quality of exchanges. If you couldn’t be with your loved one could you sustain your relationship on just one of these text messages, phone calls, video calls. Would it be enough during a certain time-frame?

This has been one of the scariest, incredible, disappointing at times and amazing experiences getting to know him on a deeper level than any man not family in my life. We have both experienced life in different ways that have made us who we are and have made us incredibly complementary to each other’s personalities. He has experience with nephews and I have nieces, plural, so it seems.

Wow my thoughts have been so interesting all day long. It feels like another milestone is about to turn for us finally. After a long year of being forced to wait and worry and failure; God is showing us some sweetness bringing us even closer.