There are probably a couple I could expound on, but we are very close to my nearly losing my sanity only a year ago. Dialysis was unlike any job I had ever had, working as a cashier at Wal-Mart was one of the best outside of the farm jobs I could have had right after I chose the wrong college. That decision would also be on my short list of decisions not necessarily hardest though.
I learned that the flower that represents January is the Snow Drop, a few years ago and that it’s because it adapts to the coldness. Looking back with 20/20 vision over my life there is a tendency to adapt to my circumstances. I have never had troubles at college or working with colleagues until Dialysis I never had to speak about anyone to a manager period. During my time as a PCT I had to speak with the manager about an ongoing problem for nearly 5 months straight; every single week or day she was there.
My determination kept me going I made it through a big test getting an A- which amazed me. I still look through the job postings and they haven’t filled that position I left or they have, but like before me was able to keep anyone for long for similar reasons.
The one reason this job was a want for me was because of Uncle Mike. God gave an inside look at what he went through and that was the true reason for my tangent into being a PCT. Seeing where he sat and hearing that some of the staff remembered him after 10 years and some of the patients nearly brought tears to the surface a time or two. If that was all I got out of the entire experience it was well worth some of the pain and illness.
When my body started showing signs of the ulcer everyone at home could see the pressure it was taking on me. Yet no one there even the one person who knew about the ulcer and the fact it wasn’t something little and that it was manifesting in three ways for certain and with my physician already telling me I needed to make a decision it was difficult. I wanted this job but not if I wasn’t healthy and able to do the job. It took me another 6 months to get over that ulcer I have been healthy now only since June.
What took only 5 months to create took another 6 months to heal emotionally and physically and I’m still working on the emotional part. I was told I was leaving the patients without support and made to feel guilty when I talked to the manager, I even spent a day at a different clinic and enjoyed the change. The drive to that destination from where I live however would not have been ideal to commute from. That last week sealed the deal for me this job was not meant to be and finally that day when I made the decision I felt peace because I knew it meant getting rid of the ulcer.
Dialysis taught me a lot and finished the circle with my Uncle’s treatments. I got to explore an area not in my wheelhouse and actually passed tests. Traveling by myself was new for me as well and then to have a co-worker with me at times. God allowed me to understand what my uncle went through in such a way I will never forget. I am very grateful for this decision to do this but equally grateful that God gave me the will to make the decision to heal myself and close a door.
Jewells of Thought 
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