Jewells of Thought

Since I was given this letter this afternoon I have had a hard time trying to focus. A few things were supposed to happen and I was able to do some earlier, but I think that new find has sent me into a tizzy.

Do you get so excited you lose all sense of what you were doing?

The thing was I had literally taken a break right before I got these messages. I was already zoning out before I got those texts and photos of the letter. So why can’t I seem to focus on writing right tonight. Or on what I originally had planned to work on for today.

I didn’t promise Bryan, but I did say I would be ready for a conversation today. That also went out the door. Honestly it was my fault, but now it’s on both of us. He said we would be able to connect when he got home, he forgot to say when that would actually be considering we do have 3 hours difference.

When he did supposedly get home I’m not sure he actually did. He texted me as I was driving home still over half an hour away. It was his normal greeting, not exactly his I’m home are you ready text. So I got home and forgot to text him I was home and started writing. It took me awhile because I kept thinking he was going to stop me in the middle of typing. When it didn’t happen it was a bit irritating.

He still hasn’t responded, which tells me a couple of different things. So I found myself so unfocused, yet excited. I then began to focus on the piano. I played two of my favorite Christmas songs. Oh my it felt good to do that and I have been trying to practice a bit even if it’s only for Kodie to hear.

Hopefully with a good night of sleep tomorrow I will be more focused. I am also looking forward to finding out his excuse, especially since he can’t completely blame me for not being ready. My workaholic boyfriend has had a tendency to fall asleep on me. He hasn’t done this in quite a while, but I will have to laugh if that was the case.

Still I love him he even thought I made this scrumptious pumpkin cheesecake. Of course he didn’t even mention the ‘Love’ sign. We have kind of already skipped talking about marriage plans straight for the kids talk. We seem to be in line with those thoughts. Honestly, after the ups and downs we have had in over 2 years we have decided we can handle anything together and when we’re together we will handle them hand in hand style.

Somehow he knows how to challenge me and to help me… focus.