Jewells of Thought

Over twenty-four hours since our last message. Why does this make such an impact on me. We had exchanges early yesterday. So why today, have I heard absolutely nothing again?

Sometimes I hate knowing him so well that I can picture him working late as I know he has done so repeatedly. I know what he’s up against and I know he’s working even harder in order to leave his current situation. A part of me still wants to question this and be skeptical that it hasn’t happened yet, but back in March something happened that set us back and severely hampered his moving and leaving the firm.

There are times I feel guilty and just want to call it all quits. Being so far away and not being able to meet due to our circumstances is completely frustrating and stressful. I have never felt more connected to someone when we are able to converse more often. He has been my best friend and confidante… yet sometimes it just feels like too much.

Why on earth did I have to fall for someone that meant years of a long-distance relationship? I never believed I would succumb to the online attraction method. I did everything I could to prevent myself from doing that very thing I loathed.

So what in the world is wrong with me right now? Not to mention the whirlwind emotions of losing a family member? I know he’s working overtime and I know he’s never hurt me or lied to me. Even when I have tried to scare him off of purpose.

It turns out we’re both stubborn-headed and we’ve come too far to give up on each other now. We are crazy and maybe a bit daft, but how often do you feel someone who challenges as well as complements you at the same time? We only have one life to live and it was only by the grace of God that we did actually meet!

Love doesn’t always make sense. It is a give and take of yourself to the other in your couple; all the time. The struggle together as a couple is what I have learned the most from. He keeps telling me he couldn’t get through this work situation without me being on his side encouraging, supporting and loving him through this distance. Even though, he forgets to mention I’m the reason he’s in this predicament. Trying to leave his firm earlier this year, was because he knew I wanted him here. We jumped the gun a little bit and he’s paying for it in different ways.

That’s as far as I’ll get into that but I have learned how determined he is to finish what we started to do earlier this year. I feel his frustration as much as my own.

Struggles are character building and show the couple what they have faced and can face when necessary!

What thoughts are coming to your mind right now?