Jewells of Thought

While singing and listening to the words of Shania’s fan favorites my mind went to one man. ‘It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing’, caught me as I was singing along.

Never in my life have I deemed to understand these words. Being half a country away from him seems dire from time to time. Before Grandma Rosie died I would find myself in between absolutely unhinged conversations between her and mom. They would say that my man was out there somewhere and I would constantly say I would be among the first Baptist Nun to move to a nunnery.

Obviously that would never happen, but dating and waiting for the right man was quite frustrating. Yet Grandma said when I fall I would fall hard. Even though I have tried to keep a down low on our relationship because of our distance; I know she would have loved to see how crazy I have become because of Bryan. It’s hard to not think about those conversations they happened more than once, of course. I wish she could have at least seen some of my crazy love mannerisms.

A couple more songs tonight were ‘I’m Jealous’ (of the moon) and ‘When You Kiss Me’. Especially with one of the texts I received last night. I never thought I would literally be waiting 2 plus years before even a first kiss. I totally believe in waiting for the whole process, but we are both of age and it’s normal to court with some displaying of affection.

Words have given us a sense of each other we wouldn’t have had otherwise. However, we both are ready to create a new chapter together with actions to match the feelings our words have sparked. This depth of appreciation is special and funny how even in our circumstances we complete each other’s thoughts before we actually finish typing the messages.