Jewells of Thought

Writing is being vulnerable and intimately personal with readers. Today has been exceptionally emotional for me in a couple of ways. This morning I woke up knowing I would have to deal with one issue head on. The second came out of nowhere essentially.

My bank issue is still pretty frustrating for me. It is something I have only really been shouldering with the emotional support of my boyfriend. This afternoon I was calling once again for the second time for a simple letter showing what had transpired and why. In a round about way this new bank lady was told that I didn’t want the letter due to what would have to be put into it. That reason was exactly why I wanted that letter. The first lady I had spoken to twice put words into my mouth making me feel my stomach curdle.

Still trying to digest the fact that this lady told me she would always be a phone call away and she would be happy to answer all my questions back in March. Also promised me a month ago a letter was on its way. Now she’s lying about our entire conversation. I literally want to scream about this. She actually said that I refused the letter because it was mentioned the whole reason why I needed the letter. I need and want to see closure, but she’s not wanting to give me that.

The nice lady who I was talking to today, was a Godsend for me. Although, she must think I’m the loon, that is after speaking to this lady who changed our whole conversation. Honestly, I feel really dirty right now, why would she say something that did not happen. I do not remember the conversation she was speaking about. My integrity feels in question here. I told my boyfriend from that first conversation with her she made red flags pop up in my mind. I don’t understand the whole predicament and how it happened.

Hopefully God willing this new lady will be able to give me the closure I need for this situation. Yet before I made this call earlier this morning a peculiar email was sent to me. My former employer now wants some feedback. It has been 6 months later and to be perfectly frank I wanted to delete it they didn’t seem to care about making real changes when I continued to speak to my manager. I have had to reel in my emotions from this over the day.

My mother, God love her, says tell them every single little thing. Trying to write that out without being emotional is something I am working on. Maybe later tonight I will have more objectivity in being able to write each detail. It’s May and I still have traces of the ulcers effects on my body. I could not have foreseen all of the healing I would need after having to quit.

I am having to marinate on not repaying meanness. Objectivity is the key I need to have when I marinate on the feedback. What do you do in frustrating situations?