Jewells of Thought

I think the coolness of the morning seeped into my bones. I had every intention of being at church all day today. I even wore a dress I hadn’t worn for quite a while feeling good about it.

So what went wrong?

By the way I still feel weird about selfies. I get very self-conscious about how they end up.

Everything seemed to be fine getting to church without much extra time which is usual. Then I got up to the choir loft. I still don’t know how or when this feeling came over my stomach. We are usually in the choir loft for the whole music and church notes needing to be mentioned and the catechism.

It’s roughly a good 20 to 25 minutes I guess; I have never actually thought about how long that is before. Anyway I literally was becoming sick in real-time in front of everyone. Fortunately I don’t think anyone noticed except I’m sure my aunt caught that I took my stuff with me out of the sanctuary.

For two seconds I thought I’ll sit down and calm down then I was like no I need to lay down. So without any more time than to pick up my jacket, bible and purse I stepped out to the Narthex. So if my aunt didn’t catch me I know my uncle did. This is the fun part of having family at church keeping an eye on me. It’s not all that bad, but I am held accountable by my aunt. She is my dad’s older sister the youngest of the 5 oldest sisters my dad has; he is the baby of the family. Ironically mom has 4 brothers, but she is older than 3 of them. I find these family statistics fun to brag about at times.

Once I got home it didn’t get better and I had to sit a while before taking a little movement to get out of the car. It’s extremely difficult to cook and breathe in a scent that triggers my stomach reflexes to emit its content. Yet I still somewhat supervised my 10 year old niece to cook noodles. Then once my parents got home for dinner I heard a lot of comments saying I have to do what… from dad. He had to take over supervising and making another side dish, it was really hard for him. Even though it is usually done by the time they usually get in for dinner from church.

The last couple of hours have mellowed me out a bit. Fortunately even with the near violent pains in my stomach everything stayed in. So why did everything go south at church? I have a couple of ideas maybe something I ate or perhaps a paranoia being manifested. You must know that when your preacher is not preaching on a Sunday morning things tend to happen. I am not saying that I did that all, because I was in the choir. However, there can be a tendency to not want to hear anyone else, but that doesn’t make sense I wanted to hear him this morning. I needed to hear him for certain reasons, but this feeling just came over me and I was absolutely sure I would be losing something.

Have you ever had a similar experience? Do you only want to hear your preacher speak and not someone else at his pulpit? Even though I have heard my preacher say over and over it’s not his pulpit or church he’s just the guy that has been given the opportunity to for God to use him in this church and allow him to use this pulpit. I am paraphrasing his words of course, but same jist. I do find some creative material listening to my preacher though; I missed him this morning.